I Shoot People

It seems I must have missed part of growing up.

I have recently realized that I was somewhere in my 30′s before I ever heard the expression “low self-esteem.”

And yet over the years it has seemed that almost everyone is talking about their low self esteem.

My generation has often been called the “Me Generation.”  I suppose that is part of the reason that this self-esteem thing has gotten to be such a big deal.  So many of my contemporaries really do seem to believe that the world revolves around them.  The idea of having children so that they (the parents) can have the experience of childbirth has to be the worst idea I ever heard.  I’ve watched too many wonderful kids grow up without balance, without parents (having the poor substitute of a “friend” instead).  Kids don’t need an adult friend, they need someone to direct and nuture them.  A friend is someone who muddles alongside you; a parent ought to have something to teach, something to share, something to inspire.

Anyway…. I dont know why but this low self-esteem thing just seems bizarre to me.  We all have problems in life; and we all have choices to make about how to respond to them.  I think of this in the same vein as identical twins who go through similar experiences in life but one grows from them and the other becomes depressed and suicidal.  I’m no doctor, I’m no therapist, and I’m sure plenty of people disagree with me and will be vocal to prove it.  But it just seems like an excuse.

I admit — I grew up in the 50′s and 60′s — in a time when the world didn’t know boundaries.  It seemed as if we could do anything.  After all, we met President Kennedy‘s challenge to put a man on the moon.  But it was a different world in many ways, not just because of the can-do spirit.  OH, we had our Cold War and stepped close to nuclear destruction more times than the public probably knows about.  But it was also a country with much less regulation.  I believe from the bottom of my heart that many of the things we have now we could not afford to replicate.  The work force of the Civilian Conservation Corp, and the Works Progress Administration accomplished a lot by sheer manpower that would be considered unfair labor practices today.  We didn’t know about ground water pollution as we do now.  We didn’t give workers Viagra under insurance benefits, nor new body parts; it was a world that acknowledged that we all get old and eventually we die — we weren’t in a hurry to die back then, but neither were we preoccupied as a nation with vanity.

I don’t know….. I guess I just missed out on something.

But truth be told, I don’t mind.

THE FOLLOWING ARE ALL QUOTES FROM 11 YEAR OLDS’ SCIENCE EXAMS:

* “Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is
pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.”

* “Artificial insemination is when the farmer does it to the
cow instead of the bull.”

* “When you breathe, you inspire. When you do not breathe, you expire.”

* “H20 is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.”

* “Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes, and caterpillars.”

* “Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on
them and makes them perspire.”

* “Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they
look like umbrellas.”

* “The body consists of three parts – the brainium, the borax and
the abominable cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the
borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abominable cavity
contains the bowels, of which there are five – a, e, i, o and u.”

* “Rhubarb: a kind of celery gone bloodshot.”

* “Vacuum: A large, empty space where the pope lives.”

* “For drowning: climb on top of the person and move up and
down to make Artificial Perspiration.”

* “For Fainting: Rub the person’s chest or, if a lady, rub her arm
above the hand instead. Or put the head between the knees of the
nearest medical doctor.”

* “The alimentary canal is located in the northern part of Indiana.”

* “The tides are a fight between the Earth and Moon. All water
tends towards the moon, because there is no water in the moon,
and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in
this fight.”

* “Equator: A managerie lion running around the Earth through Africa.”

* “Germinate: To become a naturalized German.”

* “To prevent contraception: wear a condominium.”

* “To keep milk from turning sour: keep it in the cow.”