I Shoot People

1. Exaggerate your compliments
   If you’re going to say something nice, why not make it a bit nicer? Only you will know the difference and the target of the compliment will feel that much better.
2. Forget about insults entirely (even in jest)
   We can all agree that nothing good comes of insults. If they are serious, then someone comes out of the exchange feeling cut down. Even if you insult someone jokingly, their subconscious mind still takes your words in as a serious statement and imprints the insult on the person. This is akin to a commercial: it can seem stupid, but you are still building up respect for the product on a subconscious level. This is why companies pay top dollar just to have their logo visible in public places.
3. Investigate what is known about death
   What do you know about death? You certainly have beliefs around it, but what do you know about the science of death, or of those who have died and been brought back to life? Death is not as big of a mystery as it is made out to be. Do your research before you fear or misconstrue this most universal human experience.
4. Try hypnagogic hallucination
   For those new to the idea, hypnagogic hallucination is the state of experiencing dreaming-like visuals and thoughts while remaining awake. Lie down when you’re neither physically nor mentally tired and edge towards falling asleep while focusing on staying awake. Most of the time knowing of this state’s existence and attempting to experience it is enough to attain it. This is because up until this point, you’ve had no reason to try to stay on the edge of wakefulness!
5. Notice the small, beautiful things
   As cliche as this sounds, there is so much beauty in the world  yet we rarely appreciate it. Take 5 minutes, stop doing everything and sit down. Then clear your mind of your inner dialogue and focus intently on something in the space immediately in front of you. Nature always works best but literally any object will do. Study all of the minute details of the object and try to appreciate its complexity. This might take some practice but after you get into it, you’ll have that perspective for a while after.
6. Cut out the crap
   We have a lot of crap in our lives that is neither necessary nor good for us. The crap  includes certain people, emotions and habits. Take the time to evaluate the constituents of your life to decide what needs to go. This tip is so critical that I wrote a 3-part series on cutting out the crap - check it out!
7. Try a love experiment.
   Spend a week masquerading as Christ-figure and bring love into every aspect of your life. Start your day by sending out mental “I love you’s” to your friends and family. As you go through your day, silently (or out loud!) wish something nice upon any strangers you see. Monitor your every thought and action to be sure you’re acting out of love. This sounds cheesy but it is a fantastic feeling becomes addicting.
8. Make plans to attend at least one crazy event each year
   As you all know, we humans remember experiences, not possessions. You remember driving somewhere in that car, not buying or owning the car. So put aside a savings jar to pay for at least one crazy, awesome event each year. Here are a few event ideas to get you salivating.
9. You are what you eat
   We’ve all heard of this phrase but most don’t full realize it’s implications. Your body is constituted only of the food that you put into your body! If you’re okay with eating crap, you are accepting that you brain, skin, heart and everything else will be made of crap. You LITERALLY are what you eat.
10. Give up something for a week
    Like Lent, but for non-Catholics. There are two major benefits of this: 1) you learn to live without something now so that if you’re ever forced to live without something, it won’t be so bad and 2) when you get it back, you will truly appreciate it. Examples include hot showers, alcohol and other substances and television. Extremist can give up everything and experience living on the streets.
11. “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”
    Revenge is sweet but forgiveness is sweeter. Until that’s a no brainer for you, try faking forgiveness and knowing that nothing will piss off an enemy more than you not reacting to their provocations. Eg. If you punched someone in the face in anger and then they just smiled back at you happily, wouldn’t that annoy you?
12. Floss! Your dentist has been right all along. Flossing is more crucial for your oral hygiene that brushing your teeth. It keeps your gums healthy and food out of the tight places that drinking water won’t clean out (which would otherwise result in bad breath).
13. Don’t doubt anything without absolute evidence against itEvery day it seems I learn about something that I previously had thought to be impossible (like walking on water). Acknowledge that the world is full of surprises and the ‘impossible’. Therefore practice being open-minded rather than doubtful, especially about things foreign to you. **Edit: Apparently the running on water video is fake which is extremely ironic in the context of this tip…I would take it down but that’s just too funny.
14. Know Your MSGAs you probably know, Monosodium Glutamate (MSG) is a common food additive that has been linked to cancer and a myriad of other health problems. Many products will use an alternate name for MSG to conceal its presence so be aware of these names as well: Gelatin, Calcium Caseinate, Hydrolized Vegetable Protein, Textured Protein, Monopotassium Glutamate, Hydrolized Plant Protein, Yeast Extract, Glutamate, Autolyzed Plant Protein, Yeast Food or Nutrient, Glutamic Acid, Sodium Caseinate, Autolyzed Yeast
15. Use your showers to practice being presentYour daily (?) shower is the perfect time to get better at being present. Instead of thinking about your time last night or everything you have to do today, focus on the sensation of the water hitting your skin. Zone in on the smell of the soap and the warmth of the steam coming off of your body. If & when you successfully block out your inner dialogue, I guarantee you will have the best power of your life.
16. Limit your time-wasting online activitiesDo you ever find yourself deep in someone’s Facebook photos and wonder how you got there? The internet is an awesome tool but some sites can suck you in and waste tons of time that could be spent doing something productive. For those who can’t help themselves, there are extensions for Chrome and FireFox that allow you to specify a certain amount of time to allow to spend on time-waster websites per day. Every minute you spend on the sites you specify is tracked, and when you reach the limit those sites are no longer able to be accessed.
17. Remember the 10,000 hour ruleIf you want to master anything in life you need at least 10,000 hours of practice. Practice separates the haves and the have-nots when it comes to skills. Have you spent 10,000 hours doing something you don’t care to master? (Ahem, Facebook..) Do something else that will benefit you a lifetime!
18. Make some rules for yourself Instead of only reading this list and thinking ‘those are good ideas,’ take a few at a time and make them unbreakable rules until the habits stick.
19. Watch Zeitgeist: Moving ForwardThe 3rd Zeitgeist film will change the way you view the monetary system, the economy and the future of this world. Its claims almost sound like conspiracy, but the evidence it intelligently builds upon rules out any chance of that. Do not be deterred by the 2:45 duration — if something is this important, would you want it to be able to be squeezed into 10 minutes?
20. Only do things that you love or that you have no choice but to doWhen it comes to choosing a career, only do something that you absolutely love or something you have no choice but to do. I mean literally NO choice but to do that job. Unless you’re supporting children or completely steeped in debt, chances are you have a choice. Don’t waste a second doing something you do not love.
21. Practice energy developmentWhether or not you believe chakras exist, you can develop the ability to feel, move around and store energy in your body. These sensations range from mild tingling to violent vibrations. Start off by lying down and putting all of your focus on your left foot. Focus on and feel that foot until it beings to warm up and tingle, then move on up the body in small increments. Eventually you can get your entire body to be vibrating (seriously, it’s almost scary). Developing these abilities helps with focus for meditation, astral projection and supposedly boosts your clairvoyance.
22. Question what you have been told to be true but have not investigated yourselfSimply stated, we are fed a lot of BS growing up that is not necessarily or at all true. We assume it is true because we’ve always “known” it to be true. Examples include religious and political beliefs, stereotypes and habits. Perhaps the best example of all is that marijuana is dangerous and deadly when in fact alcohol is infinitely worse for your body and your driving ability.
23. Force yourself to become a social badassPut yourself through a series of comfort challenges to become comfortable in a social situation. Start with making eye contact with people you pass on the streets, then progress to saying hi and eventually asking them a quick question like ‘How’s your day going?’ Then progress to wearing a shocking piece of clothing out in public asking people for their phone numbers. Finally go to the extreme and take on a different person with waiters and cashiers. The idea is to go to the limits so that more normal interactions like to someone you’re interested in becomes a piece of cake.
24. Read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search For Meaning’ This book details Frankl’s time in Nazi concentration camps and how the experience shaped his view on meaning and purpose in life. His account of the camps is extremely detailed and riveting. His conclusions on life are both far-reaching and relevant to life outside of captivity.
25. Find the supplements suitable for your lifestyleOur diets and habits are nothing like those which are bodies were built for. Times have changed but we still need the same nutrition. Luckily we now mass-produce nutrients in bottles so you just need to figure out what your body needs. For example if you don’t get a lot of sun, you probably need some extra Vitamin D. If you get cold much easier than other people, you might have low levels of iron in your blood. Investigate and act accordingly.
26. Cut gluten from your dietGluten is a protein found in wheat, rye oats, and barley. Like so many other substances today, gluten is not meant to be put into our bodies. The humans alive at the time that our bodies last experienced major evolution did not consume all of the bread products we now have. To see a full explanation of the health-benefits of giving up gluten, check out this article.
27. Do pushups (100 of them!)Pushups are the easiest way to get into an exercise routine and the most complete upper body workout available without weights. Doing 3 sets of pushups until fail every other day is a simple way to tone up your chest, arms, back and abs. If you want to step it up a notch, this website promises to get anyone to be able to complete 100 pushups within 6 weeks!
28. Watch ‘Waking Life’Waking Life is a movie about a guy drifting around in a dream world having philosophical conversations with the interesting characters he meets along the way. If you like the articles here on HighExistence, I can guarantee  with 100% certainty that you will love this film. It’s available for free on GoogleVideo.
29. Go for walksWhenever you are feeling unmotivated, depressed, angry or [insert crappy emotion here], take a walk. It’s a sure-fire way to hit the reset button and get back into a positive mindset. There’s something about being in nature, getting some exercise and (most importantly) being present that can get you over any emotional hump.
30. Use StumbleUponStumbleUpon (SU) is an internet tool that brings you to random sites based upon your interests. You can also specify a particular interest category while also limiting the results to videos, photos, news, blogs, etc. SU is the best way to discover awesome content around the web, much of which you didn’t even know you were looking for! As you go through and ‘Thumbs up’ or ‘thumbs down’ different web content, SU learns more about your interests and returns more accurate results. I also call it the ‘Serendipity Engine’ because of the countless times I’ve been thinking about a problem or looking for something and then the answer has come randomly to me through SU.
31. Read Ishmael by Daniel Quinn This freakishly fascinating book is best explained best by Wikipedia: “It examines mythology, its effect on ethics, and how that relates to sustainability. The novel uses a style of Socratic dialogue to deconstruct the notion that humans are the end product, the pinnacle of biological evolution. It posits that human supremacy is a cultural myth, and asserts that modern civilization is enacting that myth.”
32. Spend time alone each dayBeing alone is a form of meditation that helps us realign with who we really are.
33. Practice StoicismStoicism is centered around being unaffected by misfortune. A good stoic will recognize that mishaps will inevitable occur so he/she is constantly ready and open to experiencing them. Unlike pessimists, Stoics expect bad things to happen only because they recognize this is the nature of reality, and strive to become immune to being demoralized by said misfortunes.
34. Don’t compare yourself to othersEveryone is born with different strengths and weakness. Otherwise we wouldn’t be individuals and how much fun would that be? Consequently don’t hold yourself to the standards of others; you’ll never measure up to everyone.
35. Compare yourself to othersUse the success of others as motivation to continue growing and learning. Competition is strong medicine and can be used to your advantage if you don’t get too caught up in it. Strive to achieve a balance between #34 and #35.
36. Recognize the duality of every truthAs you likely noticed, #34 and #35 contradict each other, and yet both are solid truths. This is an example of how most great truths have some level of duality to them. Life is not absolute; let that apply to your beliefs as well  – don’t be stubborn about them!.
37. Take cold showersBesides waking you up better than anything, cold showers have been proven to improve blood circulation, keep your skin and hair healthy (hot water dries them out) and boost the immune system. For the men, it also increases testosterone levels and is just plain manly.
38. Try to be rejected every dayInstead of fearing rejection, make it a daily goal! When you go in with the intention of being told ‘no’, the butterflies go away and it becomes easy. This is a fantastic way to pursue more opportunities while becoming unfazed by the big N-O. Good applications include asking for phone numbers, job positions, partnerships and advice. Think of all the great things you’ve missed out on by not asking!
39. Rejoice in not knowing, be proud of your ignorance of a topic
    Knowing everything is overrated. Embrace the areas where you know you are ignorant. When you recognize that someone knows something you don’t, use it as a learning opportunity rather than feeling dumb or pretending you know more than you do.
40. Recognize the golden glow of retrospectWhen you look back at a difficult event in your life, it no longer holds the same ‘oh no, my life is over’ that you experienced at the time. Even very painful events like deaths, breakups and accidents can be looked at in a positive light in the golden veil of retrospect. If you can assume this perspective in the future looking back, certainly you can apply some aspects of that mindset while going through an event. Learn from your future self looking back at present you!
41. Resist nothingIf you can master this one, you have mastered life. Resistance has many forms but there is a simple test to know if you are in resistance or not. Does this thought make you feel good or bad? You guessed it, if it makes you feel bad then it is a form of resistance. For example, you are driving on the freeway and you miss your exit. Instead of getting angry and wishing you had not missed it, accept your circumstance and laugh about it instead. Maybe you would have gotten in a horrible car crash had you gotten off in time. How lucky that you just narrowly escaped a fiery death! Plus, do you enjoy being frustrated with crappy circumstances?
42. Take naps20-25 minutes is all you need to wake up refreshed without feeling groggy. Taking a quick nap in the evening is a great way to get a burst of motivation and energy for the rest of the night. This is also a great time to try out hypnagogic hallucination – #4.
43. Transition to Internet TV
    If you’re still spending your leisure time in front of a TV, consider the new web-based streaming options to traditional cable/satellite. Services like Apple TV and Roku allow you to stream Netflix, Hulu and tons of other internet entertainment channels to your TV for a fraction of the price. Additionally because you actually have to go through and choose something to watch instead of mindlessly flipping through channels, you’ll have to think twice before zombie-ing out to some reality show re-runs.
44. Master what you do most oftenFor me that would be typing and navigating around my computer. So I downloaded a typing tutor program and got my words-per-minute up to 60 (woot!) and have memorized every keyboard shortcut there is. Take the time to become the best you can be at the small things you do most often. You will save yourself loads of time, plus it’s fun to be really good at something
45. Practice Altru-Hedonism‘Altru-Hedonism’ is a word I made up which represents the idea that helping other people provides the most satisfying and long-lasting pleasure. So in a way, altruism is a hedonistic activity.
46. Figure out the minimum income you need to be freeBy free I mean able to do what you love without having to slave away at a job all day. I know we all would like the ultimate house with a BMW (M3 for me please!) but wouldn’t you rather be from having to do a job you don’t LOVE? If you agree with that, a great way to make it more feasible is to calculate exactly how much money you would need per month/year to be free. Minimalism is the goal here  (If you’re having trouble not counting in that BMW, watch Fight Club and then have another go).
47. “Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.”This one goes right along with #46. What are you currently giving up to have ________ ? Your time? Your dreams? Time with your family and friends? Your health? Decide if your current sacrifices are worth what they allow you.
48. Be a source of good on your social networkInstead of further inflating these networks full of transient emotions and comments about Lady Gaga,  tweet and share content that will bring help other people and spread happiness. Share motivational quotes, inspirational videos and anything else that will improve the lives of those come into contact with your feed.
49. Give your mom a callIf you’re looking for a way to give someone immense happiness with the least amount of effort, calling your mother is at the top of the list. She loves you 100 times more than you thought you loved that boy/girl in 7th grade & getting a call from you would make her day 100 times over. Even if you have no interest in talking to her, pretend that you do for 5 minutes. Say ‘I love you’ before she does for an even more ecstatic mama
50. Join the HighExistence Community For those of you who don’t know, this blog is also a community of thousands of awesome people who think about life differently (like you do!). If you like talking about the meaning of life, spirituality, following your passion, good music and being happy in general, this is the community for you. Become a HEthen by clicking here or check out our discussions to see what’s being talked about on HE.

Have you ever wished you could go back in time and have a conversation with one of the greatest minds in history? Well, you can’t sorry, they’re dead. Unless of course you’re clairaudient, be my guest. But for the rest of us, we can still refer to the words they left behind.

Even though these great teachers have passed on, their words still live, and in them their wisdom. I’ve made a list of seven what I believe are some of the greatest teachings by the world’s greatest minds.

1. Realizing Your Dreams

“If you don’t know where you are going, you’ll end up someplace else.”
- Lawrence J. Peter

In order for us to achieve our dreams, we must have a vision of our goals. Writing down our dreams and creating a list of actions helps us stick to our plan. As it’s said “if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it”. When we turn our goals into measurable actions, we gain clarity and are able to see the necessary steps we must take in order to achieve them.

Action: Visualize a life of your wildest dreams. What did you dream of doing when you were a child? What would you do if you had a million dollars? Create a vision for your goals and start breaking them down into small actions that you can take on a day by day basis.

2. Overcoming Fear

“It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, “Always do what you are afraid to do.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The best way to learn something is to dive right in to it. When we overcome our fear of failure, we learn that only those who are asleep make no mistakes. Fear is the only thing keeping us from experiencing a life of love and fulfillment. If we make a commitment to an uncompromisable quest for truth, we will realize that as we grow more into the truth, our fears start to disappear.

Action: You must define your fears in order to conquer them. Create a list of everything you’re afraid of and start facing them one at a time. Make a commitment to yourself now to not let fear rule your life.

3. Intention and Desire

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.”- Guatama Buddha

Our thoughts determine our reality. When we stop thinking about what we don’t and begin thinking about what we do want, our lives begin to transform. Instead of working against our desires and intentions, we move into alignment with them.

Action: Create a list of your intentions and desires. Wherever you go, take this list with you. Read it when you wake up and before you go to sleep.

4. Happiness

“Happiness depends more on the inward disposition of mind than on outward circumstances.”
- Benjamin Franklin

Happiness comes from an inner peace, understanding and acceptance of life; a perspective of truth that opens your eyes to the beauty of life all around us. Happiness cannot be achieved by external status, it must be an internal state that we realize when we see our innate perfection.

Action: Realize that happiness is a choice. In every decision you make ask yourself “how can I respond to make myself happy and fulfilled?”

5. Self Acceptance

“If a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.” – Jesus

When we stop trying to be what we are not, we realize our authenticity. Before we had knowledge, we were completely authentic. We learn to use knowledge to measure and judge, which is a powerful tool we have as humans. However we create an image of perfection in our mind of what we should be, but are not. We confuse knowledge for nature. We believe in the lie of our imperfection. When we realize this we can reclaim the truth of our perfection and live in love and acceptance.

Action: Make a commitment to never go against yourself. Practice non-judgment and realize that the same part of your mind that condemns you is the same voice that caused you to take the action in the first place. We don’t even have to believe what we say to ourselves.

6. Appreciation and Gratitude

“So much has been given to me, I have not time to ponder over that which has been denied.”
- Helen Keller

How many times do we count our misfortunes rather than our blessings? When we take time to open our eyes to the miracle of life we can see the many gifts that have been given to us. Remembering all the beautiful aspects of life and all the reasons you are blessed can immediately shift our mood. We can move from sorrow and despair to appreciation and hope.

Action: Each time you find yourself complaining about something, re-direct your focus to something you are grateful for. Make a habit of transforming your awareness of troubles into an awareness of abundance.

7. The Art of Simplicity

“I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it short.”
- Blaise Pascal

Perfection is not when there is nothing to add, but when there is nothing more to take away. As Bruce Lee once said “the height of cultivation always runs to simplicity.” True mastery of our lives is realizing the simple joys of life, removing distractions and clutter from our lives.

Action: The art of simplicity is knowing what to take away. Practice recognizing when you’re spending your time on unimportant tasks and re-focus on the important.

This list is by no means exhaustive. There are other many great teachings that I did not include here because I felt like they were already expounded on thoroughly elsewhere, such as Einstein and Gandhi’s timeless classics. There are also great teachings to be found from our parents or friends.

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the more we complicate things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and a fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead.  And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, bought things we didn’t need, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives more and more difficult, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

So let’s get back to the basics, shall we?  Let’s make things simple again.  It’s easy.  Here are 60 ways to do just that:

Life is not complex.  We are complex.  Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
- Oscar Wilde

1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds.  Don’t make other people try to read yours.  Communicate.
2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you.  Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
3. Your health is your life, keep up with it.  Get an annual physical check-up.
4. Live below your means.  Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.  Always sleep on big purchases.  Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.
5. Get enough sleep every night.  An exhausted mind is rarely productive.
6. Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man.  That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.
7. Get off your high horse, talk it out, shake hands or hug, and move on.
8. Don’t waste your time on jealously.  The only person you’re competing against is yourself.
9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps.  Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
10. Organize your living space and working space.  Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
11. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.
12. Ask someone if you aren’t sure.
13. Spend a little time now learning a time-saving trick or shortcut that you can use over and over again in the future.
14. Don’t try to please everyone.  Just do what you know is right.
15. Don’t drink alcohol or consume recreational drugs when you’re mad or sad.  Take a jog instead.
16. Be sure to pay your bills on time.
17. Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.
18. Use technology to automate tasks.
19. Handle important two-minute tasks immediately.
20. Relocate closer to your place of employment.
21. Don’t steal.
22. Always be honest with yourself and others.
23. Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.
24. Single-task.  Do one thing at a time and give it all you got.
25. Finish one project before you start another.
26. Be yourself.
27. When traveling, pack light.  Don’t bring it unless you absolutely must.
28. Clean up after yourself.  Don’t put it off until later.
29. Learn to cook, and cook.
30. Make a weekly (healthy) menu, and shop for only the items you need.
31. Consider buying and cooking food in bulk.  If you make a large portion of something on Sunday, you can eat leftovers several times during the week without spending more time cooking.
32. Stay out of other people’s drama.  And don’t needlessly create your own.
33. Buy things with cash.
34. Maintain your car, home, and other personal belongings you rely on.
35. Smile often, even to complete strangers.
36. If you hate doing it, stop it.
37. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
38. Apologize when you should.
39. Write things down.
40. Be curious.  Don’t be scared to learn something new.
41. Explore new ideas and opportunities often.
42. Don’t be shy.  Network with people.  Meet new people.
43. Don’t worry too much about what other people think about you.
44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
45. Don’t text and drive.  Don’t drink and drive.
46. Drink water when you’re thirsty.
47. Don’t eat when you’re bored.  Eat when you’re hungry.
48. Exercise every day.  Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.
49. Let go of things you can’t change.  Concentrate on things you can.
50. Find hard work you actually enjoy doing.
51. Realize that the harder you work, the luckier you will become.
52. Follow your heart.  Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.
53. Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.
54. Take it slow and add up all your small victories.
55. However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  Accept this simple fact.
56. Excel at what you do.  Otherwise you’ll just frustrate yourself.
57. Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.
58. Realize that you’re never quite as right as you think you are.
59. Build something or do something that makes you proud.
60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.

Oh, and enjoy life’s simple pleasures.  They’re free and better than anything money can buy. 

One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people can be.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people can be?” the father asked.

“Oh Yeah” said the son.

“So what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.”

With this the boy’s father was speechless. Then his son added, “Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are.”

Too many times we forget what we have and concentrate on what we don’t have. What is one person’s worthless object is another’s prize possession. It is all based on one’s perspective. Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for all the bounty we have, instead of worrying about wanting more.

Positive people often find themselves beating their head against seemingly immovable objects.  I found this and wanted to pass it on.

“People are often unreasonable and self-centered.
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives.
Be kind anyway.

If you are honest, people may cheat you.
Be honest anyway.

If you find happiness, people may be jealous.
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.
Give your best anyway.

For you see, in the end, it is between you and God.
It never was between you and them anyway”.

- Mother Teresa

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on.

Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help.

You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you learn not to always take it personally.

You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

Dale Carnegie once said, “It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.  It’s what you think about.”

I don’t think anyone could say it any better than that.  I’ve watched so many friends search tirelessly for happiness by changing jobs, moving to new cities, pursuing intimate relationships, and tweaking all sorts of other external factors in their lives.  And guess what?  They’re still unhappy.  Because they spend all of their time and money adding positive externals to their lives when their internals are still in the negatives.

So with that in mind, here are 75 ways to stay unhappy forever.  Of course, I would highly recommend you read each bullet point and then move swiftly in the opposite direction.

1. Dwell on things that happened in the past.
2. Obsess yourself with all the things that might happen in the future.
3. Complain about problems instead of taking the necessary steps to resolve them.
4. Fear change and resist it.
5. Work hard, do your best and then condemn yourself for not achieving perfection.
6. Belittle yourself.
7. Hang out with other people who belittle you.
8. Try to control everything and then worry about the things you can’t control.
9. Lie to yourself and those around you.
10. Keep doing the same thing over and over again.
11. Be lazy and follow the path of least resistance.
12. Hold onto anger.  Never forgive anyone.
13. Always be right.  Never let anyone else be more right than you.
14. Compare yourself unfavorably to those who you feel are more successful.
15. Let small issues snowball into big problems.
16. Never learn anything new.
17. Never take responsibility for your own actions.
18. Blame everyone around you.
19. Don’t ask for directions and don’t ask questions.
20. Don’t let anyone help you.
21. Quit when the going gets tough.
22. Be suspicious.  Trust no one.
23. Get four hours of sleep every night and convince yourself that it’s enough.
24. Never throw anything way.  Even if you don’t use it, hold onto it.
25. Say “yes” to everyone.  Fill all your time with commitments.
26. Try to be everyone’s friend.
27. Multitask, multitask, multitask!  Do everything at once.
28. Never spend any time alone.
29. Don’t help others unless you have to.  Do only the things that benefit you directly.
30. Hang out with people who complain about everything.
31. Focus on what you don’t want to happen.
32. Fear the things you don’t fully understand.
33. Always seek external validation before you consider yourself good enough.
34. Take everything and everyone in life seriously.
35. Spend your life working in a career field you aren’t passionate about.
36. Focus on the problems.
37. Think about all the things you don’t have.
38. Read or watch lots of depressing news from broadcast media.
39. Set lofty goals for yourself and never do anything to achieve them.
40. Never exercise.
41. Only eat junk food and fried food.
42. Never check-up on your health.
43. Setup your lifestyle so it revolves around money.
44. Spend more than you earn and rack up lots of financial debt.
45. Don’t say what you mean.  Don’t mean what you say.
46. Frown.
47. Never tell anyone how you feel or what you’re thinking.
48. Make sure everything you do impresses someone else.
49. Always put your own needs on the back burner.
50. Get involved in other people problems and make them your own.
51. Make others feel bad about themselves.
52. Watch TV for several hours every day.
53. Gamble often.
54. Stay in the same place.  Don’t travel.
55. Don’t play, just work.
56. Let your hobbies go.
57. Let your close relationships go.
58. Never finish what you start.
59. Take everything personally.
60. Do lots of drugs.  Drink lots of alcohol.
61. Never say, “I’m sorry.”  Never say, “I love you.”
62. Don’t work hard at anything.
63. Always wait until the last minute.
64. Believe that, no matter what, you are entitled to things.
65. Let others make decisions for you.
66. Remember the insults.  Forget the compliments.
67. Let it all bottle up inside.
68. Rely on others for everything.
69. Fail to plan.
70. Don’t dream.
71. Don’t think about the future at all.
72. Always disregard other people’s opinions and suggestions.
73. Make promises you can’t keep.
74. Don’t decide on anything, ever.
75. Just keep going and going and going.  And never ever stop.

And now that you know what not to do, let me tell you a secret about happiness.  Nobody is happy all of the time.  It’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.

In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s.  So the chances are that your happiest days are yet to come.  Hopefully that gives you something to smile about.