Tricks for Finding a Lifelong Mate


  1. Choose someone as though you were blind. Close your eyes  and see what you can FEEL; their kindness, loyalty, insight,  devotion, their ability to be concerned with you, their ability to care  for themselves as an independent being.
  2. Choose a person who has the ability to learn, explore new  ways of doing things and perceiving things, who is curious, and  who is EVOLVING.
  3. Choose someone who is willing to be like you….strong like a  tree, but flexible in the wind. Someone who is sensitive and who  has the ability to see what is around them……who is AWAKE and  alert.
  4. Chooses someone who when you hurt them, they are willing  to show it; and when they hurt you, they see it and are sorry.  COMMUNICATE it within 24 hours. Choose someone who can  perceive your pain and feel for you about it.
  5. Choose someone who has an INNER LIFE that they love, who  is on their own journey – and who wants a partner on their own  journey.
  6. Choose someone who has similar passions as your own. A relationship is for making similar memories together, doing things  TOGETHER – this is the GLUE of the relationship during hard times.  It can be very simple.
  7. Choose someone who has similar VALUES about children,  money, marriage, family. This decreases the friction in relationship. These need to be worked out before there is a long-term commitment. When the pragmatics in the relationship are mostly taken care of, it is much more easy to SOAR.
  8. Choose someone who is COMPASSIONATE, willing and able  to listen, who gives equal time.
  9. Choose someone who can LAUGH at themselves, or who can  stop an argument in mid-sentence.
  10. Be able to overlook certain faults and characteristics. KNOW WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. Anything that takes a person away from their soul life, or not telling the truth, or a person who cannot face you after making a mistake and who tries to cover it over in a  dramatic, large way instead….this would be starting a relationship on a swamp ground.
  11. Be FRIENDS, not just lovers. Are you willing to do for your  partner what you would do for your good friend?
  12. When you choose, choose someone who makes your life larger rather than smaller.
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